Our school year is coming to a close for evaluations this summer. I technically school year round because of our schedule, but it is nice to feel like you are closing the door on a subject or math book, take a break and regroup.
I had been having my yearly freak out that my boys have not learned enough, read enough or know where South Dakota is. I have not been sleeping well considering the thought that I should consider other options.
My husband recently pointed out that Grant’s multiplication memorization was lacking and that his spelling was not up to par. He wasn’t scolding, but I took his comments to heart. It was a day I was already on high emotional stress from gathering the workbooks that had gone untouched this past year.
My heart was heavy as I replayed all the “stuff” we did not get to this year. Grayson’s lawn business had really taken off and his interests had changed to other hobbies. Grant seemed to be following his brother’s lead as he started going to work with them on Mondays as well and learning how to do lawns. The lawn business took one more day away from home education which made me feel like I needed to cram “stuff” in on the other days.
This particular morning, I had come to a boiling point thinking about what my boys didn’t learn this year. I had already broken up an argument that resulted in a shin kicking match. They needed total hourly structure!
I made up my mind that this day, we were going to buckle down and get a whole list of lessons finished and scavenge the whole house to gather enough material for their evaluations.
I took a deep breath, and headed to the school room where I was sure they were fighting over something or watching Youtube fishing videos instead of doing a math lesson. As I approached the door I heard Grayson giving what sounded like instructions. I quietly peeked in the room to see Grant sitting at his desk with an invoice pad, writing, and Grayson sitting beside him spelling words.
I backed up so they wouldn’t see me and I just listened to the conversation. Grant had landed his own account, his Grammy next door, and he wanted to write her an invoice so he could get paid from mowing the day before. Grayson was sweetly pointing to each box and telling him how to fill them in, spelling words Grant didn’t know, and helping him to figure up the cost.
A big lump came up in my throat. I wasn’t about to interrupt the amazing scene that was before me. What on earth was I worried about. I must add years of wrinkles to my face every time I cry over the idea that they aren’t learning enough. Why can’t I just believe in what I know to be enough.
Right here before me was real life learning happening. The stuff you can only dream of. One brother tenderly showing the other brother the way. Teaching him. Encouraging him. Uplifting him. I could not have done anything in textbooks that day that could have touched what they each learned in that fifteen minute session.
When I can get out of my own way, learning always happens. When I get bent out of shape and stressed out about the unknown, the only person I am hurting is myself. I am the one who can’t just let it be. Deep in my heart I know what Curtis and I have chosen is the road God has led us down. Why do I keep getting in the way?
Mommas, if you have been called to teach your children at home, trust in God to provide the environment and the education. It can be hard when we look around and see other families on a different path that seems full of more learning opportunities. But it is THEIR opportunities not ours.
Each of our paths will be different, have different styles, books, ways of teaching and time spent on different activities. Don’t waste your precious years stressing about what you didn’t do. Look at what is culminating right in front of you. Soak it in, adjust your thinking, pray earnestly for peace in your heart to fulfill HIS plan for your children.
When you can get out of the way, learning can take on an amazing form right before your eyes.